ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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