it wasn't lemon gatorade
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
