grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
