I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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