no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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