im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
