Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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