I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
