8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
