Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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