You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
