And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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