my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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