I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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