Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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