Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
