just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
