clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
