who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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