I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
