Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize