Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
