shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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