how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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