We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
