the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
