Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
