my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
