The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
