She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
