And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I had to cum in my sink.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
