So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
