I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
