The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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