who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Already got asked if we're dating
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
