remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
