Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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