I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
