i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Fuck appropriateness.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
