We won't sleep together?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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