i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
