My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
