just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think people are normalizing furries
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
