Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I party with great urgency now.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
