I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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