in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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