What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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