So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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