oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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