Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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