So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
