I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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