In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
