So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
