How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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